Deepavali "Celebration"

^ that's the reason

i just came back from msia JB. had a bbq over there at 1 of my relative's house to celebrate deepavali. however n sadly it wasnt a celebration for me. i went there v unwillingly. becos an idiot whom i need to depend on for pocket $$ "asked" me to go along. well fair enough. since ur the only 1 who is bringing the bread n butter home. i'll repect u for that n obey u. n also i cant be bothered to fight or quarrel with u. so i'll just go. even though ur f***ed up at times.
but just u wait. once im financially independent. i'll leave for goodness sake. becos i dread seeing that "beautiful" face n that "amazing" attitude of urs. but of cos i dont mind having breakfast lunch or dinner with u. i just cant stand it when u scold me without even understanding the situation. wow! im lost for words to describe how gd u r.
of cos i'll forgive u since u've also forgive my mistakes. i'll do my best to be a gd son n i hope that u too can wake up someday.
ok time to sleep. lesson starts at 830am tmr. zzz.. im going to be punctual. lol! :X to be continued..

Sigh..

to my beloved girl.
from the deepest bottom of my heart. i strongly believe that i did show u care n concern when u r feeling down or sick. though im v sry that i neglected u sometimes. but pls forgive me for that becos im a human too n i have my flaws n make mistakes.
im not a audio kind of person. so pls pardon me for not giving u any words of encouragement at times when u talk to me about ur problems n stuffs. becos i cant understand much about ur situation just from listening ur words. im more of a visual n action kind of person. i need to see n touch to understand. so i would need u to show me the situation if u need me to help u better. i hope u get what i mean.
n honestly i feel so stressed up whenever i talk to u. pls give me a break man. im not a criminal u know. so pls stop "interrogating" me can? isnt it better to talk n ask nicely? as in cant we talk a more casual way? rather than being so serious.

to my dearest father.
i know im not a great son of urs. but b4 u want to criticise me further. pls look at the mirror 1st can? n pls look at ur damn self. how do u want me to "set a gd example" for my younger brothers if u r not setting a gd example urself for me to follow. if im a bastard u'll be a fcuking hypocrite.
can i ask u to come n c the things from my point of view instead of just seeing it only from ur point of view? if u dont want to it's ok. i dont expect u to. but the worst is that u think that ur always right. come on lah. omg. seriously im so sick this idiotic attitude of urs i cant be bothered by u.
i admit that i make mistakes n i understand that u r scolding me for my own gd. i know that scolding is part n parcel of upbringing n growing up. i also know that u want me to be successful. n i thank u for that n providing me with a comfortable life. but i hope that u wont make me hate u becos that's the worst thing that can happen. i dont want to hate u ok. though my feelings for u now is neutral. as in there isnt any hatred nor much love. im still learning to accept u for who u r. so well give me some time. i dont know. zzz..

to my dearest mother.
i've always want to thank u for all that u've done for me. i do appreciate ur help n concern. i just want to say a big THANK YOU to u. :)

this sums up my mood n feelings for today. to be continued..

Im Back

hmm seems like i've been "missing" for some time haha. well the reason is becos i was kind of "busy" for the past few days as i was too engrossed in customising the theme of my windows. n also exploring the internet for more desktop designs n options. actually i've been wanting to change the looks of the operating system but didnt know how to or where to start. but all thanks to Siong Kai. he taught me how n i figure a little bit out on my own n i've manage to change the theme! hehe! :D im so in love with my laptop now. it's so drop dead gorgeous n awesome! X)
n btw. Terry, David, KX n i went to SK's place to celebrate his bday on last sun 19 oct. well it was only a v simple celebration. we gave SK a surprise visit with a bday cake. i know that SK was touched to tears though his expression didnt show it. lol. then we ate the cake n chit chatted tgt for a few hrs n went home after that. though it's a simple celebration but we learned something new. which is about pain olympics. i think that's the most unforgettable part for the bday celebration. lol! google "pain olympics" n u'll know what i mean. WARNING: it's rated R21 n not suitable for the faint hearted. watch at ur own risk! :X
1st week of school was not v gd for me. i missed a few lesson as i couldnt wake up on time. n i discover that i got this problem. which is that i have difficulty waking up early in the morning. the thing is i didnt sleep v late. the latest time i'll go to bed is by 1am. (erm.. i suppose 1am is consider reasonable? lol.) so i dont know y i just cant wake up. i've tried to sleep earlier but it didnt solve the problem. maybe im just too used to the holidays haha. anyway it's ok. always think of the +ve side. this may turn out to be a blessing in disguise. u never know. hehe! ;)
ok i'll stop here. gd night n to be continued..

Weakness Within

^ the solution to overcome weakness?

perhaps im not that strong after all. be it physically or mentally. sometimes i feel so weak. both physically n mentally. this kind of lousy feeling. sigh.. it sux u know. :( i know im lacking something. that mysterious something. n im still finding out what is it that im lacking. hopefully the mystery can be solved asap.
holidays r over. time to go back to school. nothing much happen as the 1st week is often the "introduction week". n it doesnt matter if i did go to school or not haha. i skip 1 of the lesson today. :X becos it's a waste of time as there's only 1 lesson today which from 1-3pm n there wont be any teaching at all. so i chose not to go to school.
also im going to have ITP after this sem during the holidays. omg. my holidays r gone. zzz.. :( im still considering where to go for that attachment. or should i say i dont know where i want to go. lol. :X though im fine with shipyards. but something inside me is telling me that there r better options than going to the shipyards for ITP.
as for work. gone r those photo frames n chocs. selling italian cookies now. though i doubt that all the ingredients r from italy. but hey the cookies r nice ok! :D i tried them n it taste damn gd. n it's an easy product to sell too. hehe! ;)
alright i'll stop here for today. to be continued..

:P

^ that was close.. (almost got tricked n fell down for my case :P)

ok i played bball at the bball court near my place just now. suddenly feel like exercising n thus went to play bball. played a 2v2 match with the neighbourhood people. i was team up with a noob. no wry im fine with that. i dont look down on him becos i know i was once a noob in bball too. besides im not v pro either. im just a average player. n i dont intend to be get serious for the match becos i dont want to damage my specs haha. hey my specs r expensive ok haha. anyway the other team was made up of a tall guy while the other guy was slightly shorter than me.
though the other guy is shorter but i got to admit that he's much skillful than me. damn it. he's damn fast lah! i was like so shock. didnt expect him to be that fast. not only that. he is able to dribble well with both of his hands. which also means that he is able to attack in any direction. i was struggling to catch up with him. i tried playing hard n soft with him but both didnt work. n i almost fell down u know!! omg! imagine how humiliating it is if i fell down. lucky i regained my balance. if not arh.. i'll slap myself man! damn it!! ankle breaker? wrong guy dude. im not that noob ok! >:P
actually there's also like "enviroment" factor that affected me. becos im not used to playing in the dark. though there r lights. i just cant see the ring clearly n i was kind of like "where's the ring huh?". hey this isnt an excuse ok. this is a fact. :P
ok i admit that i hate to lose. on the outside i may seems to be v sportsman but inside me i'll be like "omg! how did i lose to this dumb ass?". lol! as in only when im playing with those not so pro people. but sometimes when i play against or with the pros i really have to 五体投地 n learn from them. i'll copycat their skills! hehe! smart huh? anyway i've also learned something from this match. i'll need to brush up my "attack in the night" n defence. XD
alright i'll stop here for now. time for bed. nights n to be continued..

Overcoming The Inertia

i guess sometimes in life 1 has to unlearn something n relearn something else. i used to learn that it's wiser to keep quiet n not to say anything unnecessarily. but later on i found out that keeping quiet isnt always right. 1 has to talk more instead. but of cos 1 must watch what he says. that's the difficult part. n also i got to admit that it's difficult to change habits. worst when im born stubborn. sigh.. it'll require lots of discipline for me. give me some time. i'll change. :) yes i WILL change. i know it's just a matter of time when i break through the barrier.
allow me to shout here. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!! ok i feel much better now le. hehe!
ok i'll stop here. to be continued.. RROOAARR!! ;D

花果山 Gathering

had soccer n bball with ex-classmates from 2C n 4A ytd. it has been some time since we met up with each other. there r lots of ppl who came. 9 ppl in total if im not wrong. lazy to write down all their names here haha. :P anyway it was fun playing with them. n it has always been so fun. :D we started off playing bball 1st. n after that soccer. we played soccer with some ppl from the neighbourhood n got thrashed haha. well kind of expected as they r more skillful than us. it would be a different case if it's bball. hehe. we rested a while after that. some of them went to have lunch the others were just sitting around n chat to catch up with 1 another. then we carry on with our bball n soccer matches again. i was slowing down my pace as i didnt have my lunch n was kind of feeling tired alrdy. we played til 4pm plus b4 we went home.
i went to take a shower once i reached home n then had my lunch. laid on my comfy bed after lunch as i was damn exhausted. it took some time for me to found out that i had sunburns on my neck n a bit on my face. but v surprisingly. the sunburns seems to have burned all the pimples away haha. becos most of the pimples on my face have gone le. :D im in love with the sun! i hope dear isnt jealous. lol! XP
ok i'll stop here for now. still feeling kind of tired. due to hangover i suppose haha. anyway gtg. time to make a cup of milo for myself. ok bye bye n to be continued..