u know when u've graduated from poly. life suddenly looks v real. becos this is the point of time when u have to make ur own decision that is going to determine ur destiny. n u cant run away from responsibility like how u do when ur in primary/secondary school or poly.
19 yrs of earthly life. i came to realise that the most reliable person is none other than urself. forget about ur friends or relatives for a moment. becos ur the only 1 who is going to shape ur life. ur friends r not going to do it for u. neither ur family members. that's ur responsibility. if run away from it. u'll pay the price.
of cos if ur born with a sliver or golden spoon. u dont have to wry about how u going to live. just relax n enjoy. but if ur some1 with a humble background like me. it's either u continue with ur mediocre life or u do sth about it. u see. that's the tough decision u have to make.
right now. im feeling somewhat stressed n unsettled. im in need of some guidance but there isnt any ppl who would understand n listen to me. even my parents dont fully understand me. so how am i suppose to talk to anybody?
my father n i. our way of thinking is too different. i guess it's becos of the generation gap. i bet he wont understand what im thinking n saying. trust me. we r totally 2 different person.let me give an example. from what i heard from my aunts. they always told me that my father used to be a v gd student. every yr he's either 1st or 2nd in class. some1 who's v capable. hardworking. down to earth. so on n so forth. almost like a perfect gentleman. even til now i've nv heard him say a single vulgarity despite his foul temper.
but look at me. im a bad student. always late for classes. my results r not v gd. im lazy. i use vulgarities. im a bad boy. n the list of imperfections goes on. u see the big contrast? i wonder how im going to face my children next time. better keep my history a secret. lol!
my mother didnt have much education. i heard the highest education lvl she got is sec 4. so it's kind of obvious she wouldnt understand me as well. u know sometimes when i ask her a qn n she'll ans me sth that is off topic. like some1 ask u for ur name n u ans back with where u live. even though it's bloody frustrating. but i cant blame her. so in the end i just rephrase my qn.
my younger brothers.. forget about it. both of them have backside brains. (-_-)"
n then my friends. every1 has their own different ideas. so talking to them is pointless. n it just happens that their ideas r different from what i want. so i need some1 who is older n with experience to talk to.
the feeling of loneliness. it's v scary. but on the other hand. it makes u stronger. but that is if u can survive it. seriously i dont know if i can survive or not. im scared. im just a tiny n timid mouse u know. not a gallant horse yet.
im thinking of going back to church. where there r ppl whom i can talk to hopefully. n also where i can have some character n spiritual development. im still considering..
to be continued..
once again i havent been blogging for like decades. but this time it's seriously becos im v busy due to fyp n final sem exams. n also becos of im being lazy as well hehe. :X
alright i'll try to recall what happened to me when i was "missing".
1st of all. I'VE GRADUATED FROM POLY!! HAHAHAHA!! even though it's unofficial. but it's going to be official soon.
fyp wasnt that gd. but overall it's considered well done. all the sem exam papers r ok for me. except for 1. as expected the 1 that requires me to memorise - IC BOILER. n worst. that bloody prata lecturer gave us the wrong format n hints. i would say he's the worst lecturer in SMA. he's always late for lessons. took 45mins to mark attendance. talk rubbish. n the list goes on. seriously heck it. that prata should be sacked!
anyway i do hope that i can get As for the rest of the papers. Bs r also fine with me. i guess i should be able to pull up my gpa a little.
however having said that. i dont think i can get into a local uni. which local uni can i go with a gpa of 3? even if i can pull it up a little. i guess the highest i can get is maybe only like 3.2 or 3.1? i dont think i can even hit the 3.3 mark. :(
if i want to go to a uni. i'll most probably be going to SIM. furthermore SIM should have hot babes. so it's not a bad idea after all huh? ;)
i realise that it's important to have pretty girls in a class. (pls note that there's a "s" for the word "girls") becos that can help to motivate me to get up early n be punctual for lessons. becos impression is v important. u know what i mean? lol.
but on the other hand i may not be going to a uni becos i may want to go out to work 1st for experience. or maybe i may want to get a part time degree. hmm got to c how it goes.
after my last paper. i went clubbing at st james power house for the 1st time. as expected. there were lots of hot babes around. loud music n strong liquor. typical clubbing scenes.
me n friends ordered a bottle of 40% vodka. drank it pure. on the rock n also mixed with coke. n my head started to spin after that. i guess i was little drunk. but of cos not to the extent that i vomit n blabber nonsense. im pretty sure that i was like 70% sober at that point of time. hey im not that weak ok! lol. after the drink i walk around the club to explore haha. just being curious. n then it was only until 5am when my friend drove me home after an early breakfast.
ok i got myself a new hp becos the old 1 spoiled. i bought the nokia 5800 for 138 bucks. got tired of sony n so i tried nokia. maybe becos im used to sony. so to me nokia isnt v user friendly. i reformat the phone like 5 times alr. n guess what's the worst. i received a $257 bill for playing around with the phone. heart pain! ouch!
becos there's a software that i accidentally installed n it somehow auto connect to the 3G internet without me knowing it. n also i didnt get myself the 3G data plan. so in the end i got to pay a lot. argh! damn it to the max!! do u know i can do lots of stuffs with 257 bucks! n obviously i went broke after i paid the bill. :(
of cos now everything is ok alr. i got rid of the 3G thingy n i manage to customise my hp with a drop dead gorgeous theme. :D im rather satisfied with the phone. just that the user interface can be further improved.
during feb n the CNY season. as usual i went to msia to visit n have reunion dinner with my relatives. spent my valentines day with my cousin WC. both of us r guys. went to a restaurant n had dinner tgt. i was scantily dressed with an orbiang home shirt n orbit YYSS PE short. n also not forgetting my epic slippers! lol! but who cares. msia only. no big deal. :P
hmm i think that's all i can recall. to be continued..
u know when u've graduated from poly. life suddenly looks v real. becos this is the point of time when u have to make ur own decision that is going to determine ur destiny. n u cant run away from responsibility like how u do when ur in primary/secondary school or poly.